It's Over

  بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمنِ الرَّحِيمِ

My fully breastfeeding journey is over

...sobs...

:'((

3rd June 2012
26 days left before Faheem turns one year old..

Aku terpaksa akur to feed Faheem with FM...

Tak sampai hati nak bagi Faheem FM..Tapi, aku lagi tak sampai hati tengok Faheem nanges kelaparan..

Yup..he cries for milk eventhough aku baru je lepas bf die both sides. Then hubby bagi Faheem plain water...Baru Faheem tido lena... Pity my son...
Yela, kalau pump pun both sides cuma dapat 2 oz per session, manalah cukup untuk anak teruna tu.

So, the next day, I told hubby that we had to buy FM for Faheem. Kat rumah dah takde stok EBM. Semua dah transfer to my mom's house. Itupun ade dalam 10 botol kot. So, kalau Faheem cranky tengah malam because of empty stomach, I had no EBM to feed him. The best way is to get him FM.

Perasaan aku? I had to throw away those egoism of not wanting to give FM to my son because I have no other solution. I feel so sad looking at him crying for milk. And I did cry with him.

But I still bf him whenever he wants and I still continue my pumping routine at office for the time being. Getting 4 oz per day is good enough. Sometimes, evethough baru lepas minum FM, Faheem still cari nenen. And he smile as he get what he wants. It's more to bonding I guess. Dia bukan minum bersungguh pun. Main-main. But I don't mind.

I am not regretting my decision. This is our (me&hubby) decision.

Semuanya ketentuan Allah.

Ya Allah, jadikanlah hambaMu ini insan yang sentiasa bersyukur atas setiap kenikmatan yang Engkau kurniakan, serta insan yang redha seredha-redhanya atas setiap ujian yang Engkau timpakan. Amin Ya Rabb..

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