Bersalam Dengan Bukan Mahram

Attended a 3 days course given by an emeritus professor from northern region of UK...

As the course ended, the chairman starts calling the participant names...and owhh the speaker will be giving out certs to all participants.

Normally, kami collect je sijil kat luar. No formality. 

Aku observe..

Bila peserta approach, the speaker akan greet with respect and hulur tangan untuk salam. Everytime, dia akan hulur tangan dulu untuk salam...He is very gentleman and full with respect.

Aku tak senang duduk..as the name being called according to alphabetical order, i was hoping for some malay/muslim women to be called before me..Ade sorang, she just shook hand with that guy...

What should i do? Should i pretend going to toilet, should i just shake hand with him, or should i tell him straight away that i can't shake his hand???

I started to feel all the rush...what to do? What to do? Ya Allah, please help me...i began to pull my handsock, hoping that i would cover my hand..fingers are still exposed... Ya Allah, i really need your help. Please give me guts...

As my name were called, hati berbelah bahagi nak bangun..Yet i stand up and walk ahead. Allah, i need you...

The moment i stand in front there, receiving my cert, the speaker tak hulur pun tangan dia. Instead, he said nicely to me & with a smile " i believe i cannot shake hand with you"...

Subhanallah..Allahuakbar...syukran ya Allah...syukran ya Allah for helping me...i know you are listening to my silent voice...

*****

Well then, I remembered another version of scene. 

My Masters Convocation.

Yang bagi sijil tu, lelaki..I don't have to mention who..

I forgot to buy a glove earlier..As name being called, I had all these thoughts and rushes in my head..

But then, up there, I just shook his hand with all kind of feeling..Miserable..My bad..

Bila dah settle penyampaian sijil, he gave a speech.

Part of his speech, dia mention pasal female candidate yang refuse bersalam dengan dia..Gulppp...

So there's a brave girl and i secretly salute her eventhough I didn't know who..

And I started mocking myself, shame on you Ily for not able to stand up for the right thing..

Yeah, he's an old guy, baya atuk-atuk gitu...Mulalah nasihat panjang berjela about respect and all..

He said that if you know that you cannot shake hand with a male, then wear a glove...

And his babbling goes on...Bicara seorang atuk yang kecewa kiranya bila cucunya dianggap tiada 'adab'..

I sighed deep inside..He shouldn't raise this issue..I look at him with no respect.

He is a Muslim. He should have known. 

Who should learn about respect now?

***

Aku teringat pulak petikan tazkirah Ramadhan oleh Ustaz Azman berkenaan bersalaman dengan yang bukan mahram.

Ada yang kata boleh bersalam kalau berlapik.
Tapi menurut kata Ustaz Azman, berlapik atau tidak, tak boleh salam.
Sebabnya, permasalahan ini terletak pada lelaki dan isu ini berkait dengan syahwat.
Ada lelaki yang hanya dengan memandang wanita, tanpa perlu bersentuhan, dah boleh naik syahwat.

Ada lelaki, apabila bersentuhan baru naik syahwat.
Ada pulak lelaki yang sentuhlah macam mana, tak ada rasa apa pun.
Kalau kita tahu lelaki itu jenis yang hanya melalui pandangan sudah boleh menaikkan syahwatnya, nak ke kita bersalam dengan dia?
Dan the problem is, we do not know which type of man they are. So, lebik baik menghindari, biarpun berlapik.

Ustaz ada sentuh berkenaan faktor umur juga.
Ada yang kata, "Alah, dah macam bapak kamu dah, dah umur atok kamu dah, ape pulak tak boleh salam..."
Biarpun umur lelaki tu sebaya atuk hatta moyang kita pun, tetap tak boleh salam.
Permasalahannya again pada si lelaki.
Bayangkan atuk tua bersalaman dengan gadis muda yang cantik sebaya cucunya, kemungkinan besar akan naik syahwat. Jadi tetap tak boleh.
Tapi kalau nenek tua bersalaman dengan anak teruna, jarang sekali anak teruna tu akan naik syahwat melihat nenek tua yang kedut seribu.

***

Looking at these two situations, ada banyak persoalan dan kesimpulan..Perasaan yang bercampur-baur.

I feel sad that a non-Muslim male respects a Muslim female when a Muslim male don't give a damn about it.

Aku rasa terharu, terkedu, terkesima bila Allah mendengar rintihan hati aku dan menghulurkan bantuan on the spot..

Ya Allah..

Nikmat-Mu yang mana lagi yang hendak aku dustakan???